VERY SERIOUS: 95.6% of people who had difficulty filing their taxes by April 15th were found to have eaten carrots within 60 days of the tax deadline.


WARNING: Carrots Can Kill You

       Every carrot you eat brings you nearer to death.

       Nearly all sick people have eaten carrots. Obviously, the effects are cumulative.

       An estimated 99.9% of all people who die from cancer and heart disease have eaten carrots.

       99.9% of people involved in car accidents ate carrots within 60 days of their accidents.

       93.1% of juvenile delinquents come from homes where carrots are served regularly.

       Carrot eaters born between 1900 & 1920 have been noted to have wrinkled skin, brittle bones and failing eyesight.

       And lastly, among the people born in 1839 who later dined on carrots, there has been a 100% mortality!


Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!